It was either two separate but related dreams, or perhaps one dream with two scenes. In the first scene I knew I was going to be late but girl I was with was so beautiful that I couldn't leave. She was so nice and pleasant and we seemed to share the same ideas. We sat and talked and I stroked her beautiful dark hair. I should have been at choir practice but I hated to leave her. Finally I decided to had to go and we parted, but it seemed as though I'd be with her again soon. Actually we had just met and I didn't know much about her, but I just sensed that she was a special person, one I could fall in love with.
I slowly opened the door and entered the rehearsal room. Everyone turned to look and I mumbled some excuse and took my place. I felt quilty for my selfishness. Eventually the music cheered me up and I felt better about coming to choir practice.
In the second scene I padded down the front steps with my hands deep in my pockets and started to follow the sidewalk through the poor section of town. I kept walking with my eyes reading the sidewalk crack until I came up to what looked like a whore house. There were three girls in front wearing the typical revealing dress and louging on the steps. As I got closer I realized that one of the girls was the same dark-haired beauty I had been with before. I couldn't figure out what whe was doing here. I stopped and stared at her, but when she looked at me she saw nothing more than just another potential customer. I walked up the stairs, past the two other girls, looking in disbelief at her. She never really looked at me at all. I stood next to her as she sat looking out at the street. I gently kicked her thigh and said "Come on, honey,let's go." She slowly got up and led me upstairs in silence. We went to a large room with many unmade beds. She walked to one in particular and started to undress. I sat down and asked "Why do you do this? What good is it?" She was startled and turned to face me.
"Well, it's probably not doing me any good," she replied defensively. "I don't know why...." She started to look trapped. Her eyes darted. "I don't know" she cried, "but I love Jesus!"
After I woke those words just hung in the air—"But I love Jesus!" then it hit me so hard that it felt like a slap in the face. Those were my words. I was the dark-haired girl. That was just like me—to be so nice at one point and then turn around and throw it all away. I'm a Christian; but I don't always act like one. I compromise too often my wishes for what I know God's are.
In the first scene I was myself, again doing what I wanted instead of what I knew I should have been doing. The choir rehearsal was my commitment to God. The girl represented the things in this world that trip me up. The second scene is obviously a commentary on the first. The dark-haired girl's last cry sounded just like me, and like her, I could vacillate between two extremes.
I really felt down that night before I went to sleep and I think God was rebuking me in this dream.
— Douglas Kleppin
© Copyright 2002 by Robert J. R. Rockwood. All rights reserved.